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Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

At McCready, Garcia & Leet, we take your case and the law very seriously.  Nothing is more important to us than obtaining the best results the law will allow for our clients.  We deal with the tragedy, pain and grief of the clients we represent every day.

But we don’t take ourselves nor or fellow attorneys too seriously.  We’ve found that by poking fun at lawyers, we bring a little levity to otherwise serious business.  Hopefully this has made you smile, like it has us.  Enjoy!

  • Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? A: Because deep down, they’re really good people.
  • Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
  • Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
  • Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can’t understand
  • Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: Take your foot off his head.
  • Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
  • Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.
  • Q: Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
  • Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer.
  • Q: What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: Accountants know they’re boring.
  • Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

And finally, the consensus favorite of McCready, Garcia & Leet:

  • Q: Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Now that you have had a laugh at our expense, please check out the rest of our web site.  There really is a lot of helpful information on personal injury and workers’ compensation cases.